Bang Bang

I don't usually do movie reviews,not even if I fall in love with said subjects of scrutiny,so this is an exception.One would ask the quintessential question of my purpose behind writing this one,other than throwing around big words,that is,and for them,I think this would suffice:I have been looking for something productive to do all day,being stuck on the internet watching out for online deals and offers on our "offers:yes,but they are all SOLD OUT ma'm"-shopping portals,(needless to say I din't get what I was looking for,and a lot of other stuff  I WASN'T looking for,but would've bought anyway,just for the heck of it!Yes.I din't even get that!So,boo,Mission Waste-A-Day:Accomplished:(..)
  I haven't lost hope yet,like a million other peers,still trying to find that perfect steal(One of my friends actually got two USB sticks,a headphone-set,a car charger,and TWo-mind you,TWo phones worth over 10 k each!Where oh where dyou get all that luck from,oh you?Or maybe it's just his sheer dedication of checkin websites 24x7.Paid off.All I could get everywhere were those ugly "SOLD OUT" statements),and meanwhile,what better way to pass time than to comment-slash-criticize this expensively ridiculous,ridiculously expensive movie I saw yesterday??!
  So,the tickets were already booked by a friend of mine,and as I had no other Sunday-plans,I decided to give "Bang Bang" a go!(That wasn't the only reason,I saw hrithik in the promos,End of Story.I mean,look at that greek-god-bod...oops I'm fangirling,sorry sorry).In a very offhand,"no-offence-meant" way,I have always been blissfully ignorant of bollywood and all that transpires in its shining folds.So,the opening credits of the movie took me by surprise,when they announced(with reallllly crappy background music in the,well,background),that it was "based" on Knight And Day!If you have watched it,you know what I'm talking about,when I say that that movie,is actually,in the true sense of the word,AWESOME!Ofcourse I was on the point-of-no-return,so I had to watch "Bang Bang" out!The next 3 hours(which seemed like 4,or more) that transpired were a heady mix of the following:Veet and Macroman advertisement-lookalikes;actual macroman and Pizza Hut advertisements;Hrithik looking like Adonis,Katrina not moving a muscle on her perfectly sculpted,heavily made-up face;Bollywood masala,a good-looking javed jaffrey;same old villians;one good song or two,and a crappy background score!Having said this,I wouldn't say that it was torture,for the cinematography is beautifully done,and Siddharth Anand has shot on some really beautiful locations,so atleast you can enjoy the view,always,all through the movie,and then there's Hrithik,so,the view....(Okay,No.more.drooling.SORRY)
It was a fun experience though:Comparing it to Knight And Day,picking out similar scenes,cracking crappy jokes,and wishing it would end,and the company,the company was gold,so even the crappiest of movies would have been fun,with them!We also got a dose of a Desi Aunty Acid,who wore sunglasses through the entire movie(it was an evening show),and cribbed about us,demanding us to "lower our voices" all the time!That was fun.Also,there are like four or five times in the movie,towards the end,where you almost get up,thinking its over,but then it actually turns out to be another plot twist!That is exhausting!I mean,for the love of God,End It Already!!!!!
All in all,picteresque locations,(and actors,read actor.),some good songs,amazing dance moves,a good story made overly dramatic,and a jarring background score is what makes Bang Bang a good,though a bit expensive,way to pass your lazy sundays!The experience taught me a lot,as well;It taught me that sometimes,it is okay to watch ridiculous  desi remakes of your favourite movies at ridiculous times,just for the heck of it!I mean,YOLO mahn,YOLO,>_<!
P.s:The way the government agency had CCTV cameras everywhere,and I kid you not,EVERYWHERE(always hovering on the protagonists head,yet fixed,or maybe hanging in limbo,even when there isn't a single tree or pole to hang em on!),really impressed me.India would seriously benefit a lot from that kind of technology,do us all a favor and share it with  our ModiJi please!
On that note,have fun,stay blessed,watch "bang Bang",(or don't)!Thanks for reading,comments,criticisms and anti-shopping portal rants are welcome!

Holi Heavens!!!

Holi Heavens!No,this is not a spelling error..trust me.I am a grammar nazi;I would know!No,this,my dear friends,is about the Indian festival of Holi-much like carnival,albeit with bonfires and colors and water instead of fireworks!

 We Indians are a very jolly people...we need reasons to celebrate,so there are at least a dozen festivals a month!(Exaggerating,but you get the picture!)So,the biggie for march is Holi,and for the ignorant,welll,I might just brief you up about it as well.

The Holi Bonfire.Lit.

Holi is the festival of colors.Bonfires are lit symbolizing the renouncement of all things evil.Peope go crazy splashing colors at each other.Pheww..fits in 140 characters..*pat on the back*. This is what it essentially is,as far as I know.Now coming back to the all-important,much-loved topic of discussion,i.e. Me!(Kidding..No don't hit me >_<) I am not a morning person,I care for my skin and hair,I dont actually like random people splashing me with water from questionable origins,and I dont like dirty colors caking my face!Needless to say,I am not a Holi person;at all!Or Wasn't one at least..until today!

 Just a day ago,I saw a beautiful photograph of blind kids playing Holi,in the morning daily.(Might've put it up here,but what if they sue me for using their images?).It touched a chord,all these beautiful kids who couldnt actually see the colors they were playing with!:"D (Smiley says it all.) That was irrelevant,but again,my blog;p !

 After a lot of emotional blackmail and pestering,threats of getting the house all colored,(YES my friends do that to me.A lot.)and even, "Get your lazy behind out here or we drag you out!"ultimatums,I had to go play Holi!Armed with nothing but a packet of gulaal(crimson colored powder),and my brother's water gun(on loan),I marched out with a grim look on my face (ohh my clean,clear,confident face!) to just get it over with!The timestamp would have read 10:00 IST.

  10:05 IST:

Not so clean now,are we?

The clean,clear,confident face is nowhere to be seen.A multicolored ogre-face has taken its place!As depressing as the situation sounds,I was actually having fun!Water balloons and colors everywhere,with speakers blaring popular hindi numbers,and the Indian delicacy called BHAANG!My sub-conscious was doing cartwheels with an "I-told-you-we-would-have-FUN"grin glued to her face!What completed the ecstasy was a water hose in the middle of the complex-square;which was actually a  horrendous wastage of water;but it made the day all the more AMAZING!Finally after hours of splashing,dancing,and other shenanigans,I returned home all dirty-faced and exhausted but with a resolve to go play Holi next year as well! 

The pictures are an added joy,because no one would risk bringing their phones or cameras in such pandemonium.Lord bless the worthy soul who clicked these,and his Experia Z!;(Wonderful utilization of technology I say.)for without him we would have been stranded without pictures-a blasphemy in the contemporary times!

Don't bother asking who is who!

 Even after all this is said and done,just imagine yourself dressing up impeccably for that presentation which is giving you the creeps,and its almost a week to Holi,and all of a sudden,SPLASHHH comes a water balloon landing squat on your freshly laundered formals,your hand automatically connects with your forehead with a resounding smack,and all you can say,exasperated,is HOLI HEAVENS!!(kinda like holy cow or holy...Oh you get the gist!)!Yes,this happened to me:(...can't help people's enthusiasm about the festival though,so no complaints(at the moment)!

Hope everyone enjoyed Holi...loads of love,stay blessed:D

 P.S:Watch the video for "Stay the night" by Zedd featuring Hayley Williams....mesmerizing!

Of Love,Sex,Commitment,Morality and all that Voodoo...

Boy meets girl.
  Boy falls for girl.(yea poor creatures,are always expected to do all the falling)
  Boy performs some cliche antiques to catch her eye.
  Girl winks,the boy is on seventh heaven!
  They date.
  Girl wants commitment,Boy wants sex.
  Girl gets her way,boy talks to her parents.
  After some pre-marital drama,the happy couple say the vows.
  They grow old,pot-bellied and angry,together!
   That has pretty much been the typical Indian story of a 'lou' marriage,albeit with a few juicy tadka's changing with the landscape and characters!But boyy!The times are sure changing nowadays.One can hear it in the frequent complaints of Indian teens that there was no proper "dating scene" in the country!True that,where will the poor kids go mating if there are no proms or bars to hang around?Even in the big cities,the scene is taking too long to change.There is a genuine shortage of understanding,mature individuals!If you sleep with a girl it's a shameful sin;if you get caught,even worse,as you find yourself stuck with her for a lifetime..!(or seven!)If you are a girl,its doomsday for you if it gets out!If you sleep with a guy,boy you might as well be a criminal here!This,is the reason why your "aaj-kal ke bacche" feel so enticed by the West!This very lack of freedom,to live life as we want it,drives us away,to settle down in faraway States and Kingdoms!
  Times are changing though!Not advocating the western culture or anything,but here's an observation:I
read "Safe Haven" by nicholas sparks and "The Namesake" by jhoompa lahiri earlier this week.Sparks never dissapoints,and the love overwhelmed me as all of his other books did:") (I am allowed smileys) The Namesake was a good read.In the end,what struck me most was the differences.Katie,the female protagonist in Sparks work,abstains,because she is still legally married to her abusive,psychotic husband;and God forbids fornication! On the other hand,Mo,an ABCD(american born confused desi-thats what the author said),cheats on her well-mannered husband,with a man almost her father's age,just for the attraction and sheer pleasure of it!
  Mo(ushumi) smokes,does drugs and drinks like a fish.Katie loves kids,is the perfect image of the ideal "mother" and isnt an alcoholic!Agreed that these are Indians born in the states and one could say that they dont know Indian culture;but does that make katie "Indian" because she fits this good lady image?Take a look closer home,aren't things almost the same?Aren't "desi" teens doing the same "cool" things?
  Ofcourse I know I am getting so worked up in mere characters in works of fiction,but nowadays you can hear chachas and chachis blaming the "western,modern way of living" for anything ranging from their kids running away with their driver's sons to rapes and other huge crimes!Thinking of it,are the disgusting,drug addict,charas-intoxicated,daaru-guzzling goons even aware of the english language,to be INFLUENCED by it?!
  So heading into 2014,isnt a change of mentality the need of the day?Instead of blaming others we might as well try to be good to ourselves and our people!
P.s-Ranted because one of my relatives didnt let me watch the latest episode of HIMYM after listening to barney talk for a minute.-.-